現在的香港，究竟是一個怎麼樣的地方?

GC | 10th May 2012 | 隨意想、隨心寫


坐在回家途中的巴士上，我想著兩件事情。

第一件事，為甚麼香港的公共車廂中有這麼多嘈雜聲?




在車廂中，你不愁沒有音樂聽，因為總有人將耳機內的音樂開得很大；

你經常被迫做一個八卦公或八卦婆，因為總有人毫不介意地將自己的家事、公事、無聊事等，透過講電話時大大聲的傳到你耳中；

你的耳朵也隨時被迫做著好像特工進行的"抗疲勞轟炸"訓練一樣，因為總有人不理別人感受，打機、看Video時從不調低聲浪，任由那些低頻爆炸、高頻叮叮噹噹、諸如此類聲音傳於空氣中；

唔，今天已經算好運了，因為沒有人在剪手指甲......

第二件事，我已經有離開香港的準備嗎? 不要誤會，我不是說要「離開香港」，我是說「有離開香港的準備嗎」，我經常想著要逃離香港，因為現在的香港已不是從前我所認識的香港。但如果明天開始，真的叫我放下身邊所有一切去到另一個地方，短時間也不會再回到香港生活又可以嗎?

我這個人就是這樣子，經常在不知不覺間就會胡思亂想。

之前: 罐頭豆豉鯪魚、午餐肉、燒味飯之類是基層大眾的食物，可以說是一眾窮人的欣物。

現在: 罐頭豆豉鯪魚、午餐肉的加價幅度比樓價升得更離譜，一小時最低工資才買到一罐豆豉鯪魚，某快餐店的燒鵝飯更要70大元一碟，痴線! 現在的罐頭豆豉鯪魚、午餐肉、燒味飯是給有錢人吃的。

這是甚麼的通漲?




之前: 也不是很久之前，記得亞記電視有套名為「百萬富翁」的遊戲節目，當時人人想著做百萬富翁，做個有錢人。

現在: 有百萬身家又如何? 在市區，有一百萬也買不起樓，咳! 正確來說，連一間房也買不起。現在富翁的定義是如何? 我不知道，據鞋王三奶所說，身家超過20億的鞋王不算是有錢人，在她心目中李嘉誠及劉鑾雄才是；嘩! 連20億也不算有錢，怪不得最近神棍聰就在記者面前很「謙虛」地說：「我真的很窮，我全副身家就只剩下七億多」。

這是甚麼的價值觀?




之前: 從前排隊也好、電話預購也好，買演唱會票是真心想看表演的人，買限量版郵票或紙幣都是真心有興趣研究的收藏家。

現在: 買票的不是想入場看演唱會的人，買郵票、買紙幣也不是收藏家；總之就是人買我買，買完再以炒價賣出，而最諷刺的是，真正想看演唱會、想收藏限量郵票、紙幣的人，都要花比市價更高昂不知多少倍的價錢才能買到心頭好。

這是甚麼的社會風氣?




之前: 小時候全世界都話要「讀好書，找份好工」，從前全級中最不努力、升不到班、只懂走捷徑、愛賭錢的幾位同學，只會被人看不起。

現在: 管你是學士還是碩士，畢業後變成失業一族的大有人在，即使有一份穩定的工作，扣除生活基本開支、給家用、清還大學貸款後真的所餘無幾，更遑論說儲錢結婚、買樓了。反而當年那幾個最被人看不起的同學，預科畢業也沒有，一早去做地產、做保險，現在位位有車有樓又養幾頭名種狗。

這是甚麼的諷刺?




之前: 有資格申請信用咭的人，最起碼有一個穩定的收入，如果是那些甚麼白金、鑽石咭，更是有一定上下的收入才有資格申請經審核後才可擁有，以這些尊貴的白金咭簽數也算是一種身份的象徵吧!

現在: 管你是甚麼類型的咭，只要你開聲(即使沒有主動要求)，銀行一定開一張給你，因為開咭只是幫銀行那個銷售員儲夠今個月的營業配額而已。簽咭是身份的象徵? 不要講笑了，只有我們香港人那麼cheap才會簽咭，還是買些價錢一千幾百也不到的東西，分一、兩年付款；看看內地同胞們，管你是幾十萬的名牌手袋還是電子產品，一張一張現金找數，這才叫身份的象徵(絕對沒有看不起香港人及有分化兩地人的意思，純粹說出事實)。

這是甚麼的現象?




之前: 上一輩的人，一家可以生3、4個小朋友，當時香港大部份都是基層大眾，教育程度不高，一家收入不多，家務上沒有僱庸姐姐，學業上也沒有星級補習天王的幫助，但個個天生天養，依然養到牛高馬大，刻苦耐勞，然後創一番天地。

現在: 現在中產人士多了，兩夫婦一個月合共有幾萬元入息，都抱怨養一個小朋友要了他們半條命，照計現在比幾十年前多了學校、多了機會、多了媒體資訊、又多了僱庸姐姐的幫助，但偏偏情況好像變得更差；小朋友放學後要補習學東學西，週末又要參加甚麼興趣班、技能提升班，借用「怪獸家長」一書裡面一句說話:「現在培育出來的孩子，精通琴棋書畫、七八種外語、十八般武藝......一屋證書，卻沒有一張是學做人的」。

這是甚麼的教育?




之前: 香港人一談起李嘉誠，人人豎起大姆指，甚麼「華人之光、李超人」等名詞，讚不絕口，當時香港的經濟急速發展，李嘉誠居功厥偉，是許多人的學習榜樣。

現在: 香港人一談起李嘉誠，罵聲不絕，現在港人飽受許多關於衣食住行上之苦，也是拜他所賜，說著「地產霸權、吸血鬼、魔鬼、無良心」這些詞語之同時，人人也依舊會豎起手指向他「致敬」，只不過不是以大姆指，而是用中指...

這是甚麼的所謂商家?




這就是現在的香港，一個我應該很熟悉卻很陌生的地方。我真的很想離開香港，對，只是「想」而已，因為我還未有離開香港的準備，儘管對現在的香港有太多的不滿，但我依然很留戀這地方，因為我是土生土長的香港人，儘管自己過去有好一段時間在外國生活，但我對香港仍然有數不清的回憶及感情。

VLE email.

Colin Powell’s book, “It Worked for Me: in Life and Leadership.”   

Here they are set out in blue bold font, right out of his book, with my own thoughts that follow:

1.             It ain’t as bad as you think.  It will look better in the morning.   My take on this is that all big decisions are worth sleeping on.   When we are tired and/or stressed, even little issues can look like huge ones.  Better to get some sleep and see how it looks in the morning.   Refreshed, you can have another go at reviewing your strategy and position and see it through your fresh and best eyes.

2.             Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.   I believe that this applies in several ways.  Don’t have your sense of self-worth attached to a job, title or position.  Those things come and go and for that reason, they shouldn’t define you…YOU define you.   Likewise, your position on an issue may not be the one ultimately taken by folks in charge.   Being a great team member is all about stating your position authentically, ethically and passionately…even in disagreement with the greater sense of the group…and then as a member of the group, moving ahead with deep-rooted loyalty to carry out the group’s mission and vision, even if as a member you disagreed.  As General Powell said, “Loyalty is disagreeing strongly; loyalty is executing faithfully.”

3.             It can be done!   This one is simple…remove the word can’t from your operational planning language as often as possible.   Know that a positive mental attitude and mindset can take you to heights you never believed you would achieve.   Remember the words of Henry Ford, “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are right!”

4.             Be careful what you choose.   Don’t rush into decisions…measured thought and cooler heads often carry the day.  Know that whatever you choose and work to achieve, you may well ‘receive’ so whenever possible, be very careful to choose wisely, thoughtfully and calmly.   Make sure those choices align with your core values and authentic beliefs.

5.             Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. I believe that sometimes you can look at all the facts and see several courses of action, each of which may have some clear detractors…some adverse risk!   In those moments you often need to fall back to core mission, vision and values…then go with your gut.  Remember, you are better to have failed doing the right thing than to have succeeded in doing the wrong thing!

6.             You can’t make someone else’s choices.  I love this one!   This is all about me being the boss of me.   It’s about knowing our responsibilities and then being responsible for the outcome of our efforts.  Each of us can only make choices for ourselves.  We can’t make choices for others.  We can’t make other people be happy.  They are the boss of them, we are the boss of us.   Simple to comprehend, but difficult to live with, especially in a challenging world. 

7.             Check the small things.  Little things can become BIG THINGS...and they often do, seemingly when it’s least convenient in our busy lives.  Focus on the big things but understand that little things are worthy of your attention too…get the big things right first, and the little things become fewer in number and more easily managed.  At some point we have to follow the suggestion of  Dr. Richard Carlson and choose not to “sweat the small stuff.”

8.             Share credit.   Teamwork is about WE doing something, not ME or I doing it.  Remember that nobody accomplishes anything alone. We all had teachers.  My surgery career is a direct (and I hope positive) reflection of the investments of Drs. Barrie Grant, Frank Nichols, Pam Wagner and a host of others including the subsequent 70 interns and residents I “trained” who taught me so much about surgery as an art, about horses, medicine and patient care.  When I am the surgeon, standing at the operative table, it’s a thought that crosses my mind frequently.  It’s also true that I am not standing there alone in any given moment….there are incredible technicians, students and colleagues present or nearby with me and working together we make great things happen.

9.             Remain Calm, be kind.  Always remain calm…losing control only exacerbates an already difficult situation.   Self management is such a key skill of the emotionally intelligent leader.  Yelling rarely, if ever, makes a tough situation any better.  Remaining calm shows respect to your teammates and coworkers and deepens your relationship with them.  It creates and enhances safety within the team.  The performances of everyone around you will improve and many times, disasters can be averted because panic and an emotional meltdown was avoided!

10.               Have a vision.  Know where you are going!  Covey tells us to “begin with the end in mind”…Twain warned us that “if we don’t know where we are going, any path will do.”  WONDERFUL ADVICE to be sure and General Powell agrees.  Knowing where you are going (AND WHY) gives you the energy, persistence, force and drive to accomplish anything you can envision.   Without a vision, you will find yourself less effective, dynamic and influential in creating positive change.

11.               Don’t take the counsel of your fears and naysayers.   Fear comes from within…it is normal, and because it’s normal, we should learn to  be ok with it when it comes to the forefront of our thoughts.   Fear serves the good purpose of keeping us safe.  Unfortunately, it can also be so effective as to hold us back from pursuing well conceived bold action for the collective, self or organizational good.   The military trains its personnel to acknowledge fear so they can work in spite of it.   We can do that as well.  Above all else recall that fear is simply focused energy that alters reality. 

12.               Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.   Again we are back to Henry Ford’s quote about mindset and whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are right.  When we look for the good, we will see it.  When we look for ability we can find it.  When we look for possibility, we can live into it.   If we believe in ourselves our carefully examined motives and personal values and we live those out with conviction, persistence, fidelity and passion, we become a nearly unstoppable force for progress.   Know it, believe it, live it!

You can find many other individuals who have rules for leadership.  The good Lord knows, there are so very many books, blogs, dissertations and treatises written on the subject.   What you will begin to notice is that over time, generations, cultures, genders and at many places in history, the basics of leadership remain the basics.   I guess that’s because as we have said many times: Personal leadership is simple (to understand), it’s just not easy (to do every day, day in and day out).   For that reason, fewer people do it than would be ideal for any society or culture. 

So … you recall the saying… “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”…and it is…to me, to you, and to those you influence through your positive examples of value centered servant leadership.

Enjoy your week, and give some thought to the leadership lessons above and the quotes that follow.   Above all else, make it, a great week!

******

“Example is leadership.” -- Albert Schweitzer

‘Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” --  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” --  Peter Drucker

“The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players.” --  Blaine Lee

“Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach.” --  Rosabeth Moss Kantor

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” --  Lao Tzu.

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.” --  General Colin Powell

“All leadership is influence.” --  John C. Maxwell

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” --  Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” --  Thomas J. Watson

“Leaders are designers, stewards, and teachers. They are responsible for building organizations where people continually expand their abilities to understanding complexity, clarify vision, and improve shared mental models - that is, they are responsible for learning.” --  Peter Senge

“The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.” --  John Buchan

“Ten soldiers wisely led will beat a hundred without a head.” --  Euripides.

“Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.” --  Colin Powell

the one thing that kept a 75 year marriage going.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/17/long-married-couple_n_4111667.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

the wanch

Another read...

5 Reasons Why Most People Never Discover Their Purpose BY SHELLEY PREVOSTLiving and working with purpose is a process of self-discovery--and one most of us never let ourselves undergo.

"The deepest form of despair is to choose to be another than himself." Soren Kierkegaard

After my last post on How to Know if You're Working (and Living) with Purpose, I had the opportunity to hear from a handful of readers about their fear that the path they've chosen isn't the right one.

We are lured into thinking that the purpose of life equals upward social mobility, establishing a career, accumulating wealth, competing (and winning), and holding power.

Even if we can admit to ourselves that we aren't fulfilled with success' trappings, all too often we cling to our illusions because they're all we know.

Here's what I'd like to propose: Maybe our purpose has nothing to do with what we do for a living. Maybe our purpose is really about living authentically and discovering who we really are.

Most people will never be able comprehend this perspective.

Here's why. 

You live from the outside in, not the inside out.

People are taught from a very young age to look to others for guidance. Social norming is an important part of childhood--you figure out how to act in relation to everyone else--but the problem begins when you extend that process to include something as personal as your life purpose.

Some have earned our trust and the ability to help us find our unique purpose. If that's you, consider yourself lucky!

But most people, even the well meaning, opt instead to fit us into a slot that makes more sense for them. To gain their approval, you willingly slide into the slot. To maintain the approval, you learn to chronically deny who you are.

In too many cases, you live the script for someone else's life.

You look for a career before you listen for a calling.

Our society has reduced success to a list of boxes to be checked: graduate from school, partner up, have kids, settle into a well-defined career path, and hang on until retirement checks can be collected.

This well-worn path pushes people in the direction of conformity, not purpose.

We're so busy avoiding self-induced fears of not being [fill in the blank] enough--smart enough, creative enough, pretty enough--that we rarely stop and ask, "Am I happy and fulfilled? And if not, how should I go about changing things?"

Finding your purpose is about listening to an inner calling. In "Let Your Life Speak," Parker Palmer says that we should let our life speak to us, not tell our life what we're going to do with it.

A calling is passionate and compulsive. It starts as an inkling ("I'd like to try that") then swells into a mandate that you just can't shake.

A calling isn't an easy path, which is why most of us never know it. We fear the struggle, the foolishness, the risk, and the unknown.

So we choose a career because it matches the boxes we've been told to check. 

You hate silence.

We live in a society that does not value silence. It values action.

But living without silence is dangerous. Without it, you end up believing that your ego--and all that it wants--is your purpose. If you play this scenario out, you know it doesn't end well.

Live a life where Ego is in charge and you're left with burnout--and a burning question--"I have a great life. Why am I not fulfilled?"

Silence muffles the noise and creates a space for authenticity to surface. In silence, you can ask yourself questions about how your life and work are really going and pause to wait for the answer. In silence, you give the data of your life the time to converge into a few lessons.

Typically, though, before the lessons have time to sink in you're off to the next distraction. 

You don't like the dark side of yourself.

Carl Jung called it the shadow.

It's the underbelly of your personality that you'd rather others not see. It represents your deficiencies, your failures, and your selfish drives. Most of us flee before anyone has the chance to see this side.

But here's the thing: the part of you that's darkest has the most to teach you about your purpose.

If discovering your purpose is really about self-discovery, your darkness shows you where you most need to grow.

More importantly, it shows you from whom you most need to learn. And it's the people you like least who have the most to teach you about yourself.

But most ignore the dark side. Instead, you seek comfortable relationships that reinforce worn, stale images of yourself.

You devalue the unconscious mind.

In "The Social Animal," David Brooks takes aim at the bias in our culture that "the conscious mind writes the autobiography of our species."

Like Brooks, I believe our culture has a relative disdain for the unconscious mind and all that is represents--emotion, intuition, impulses, and sensitivities.

To discover your purpose, you must get comfortable with the non-logical mind. You must become accustomed to not having the answers. You must tolerate ambiguity and get OK with struggling. You must allow yourself to feel--deeply feel. Thinking your way to a purposeful life will never work.

But this is a tall order for most people. One that they deny, scoff at, ridicule, or downright ignore.

Which is why most of us will live our lives having never known our true purpose.

http://www.inc.com/shelley-prevost/5-reasons-why-most-people-never-discover-their-purpose.html