Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Friday, 15 February 2013
How not to be a dick at the vets... [shared link]
http://www.xojane.com/relationships/how-not-to-be-a-dick-at-the-vet-hospital
Being raised by two veterinarians made for a very warped childhood. Most of my formative years were spent gazing at the innards of cats and dogs while Mom or Dad removed, stapled or otherwise rearranged internal organs. I used to take naps inside of kennels with the patients. I have no real concept of what polite dinner conversation is.
I always thought I would be a vet, until I worked at a vet hospital. Working at one and hanging out with your parents at one are very different things. Sometimes it is just one big kitten parade, but sometimes my mom has a Facebook status like this:
“I have seen 5 patients tonight and all 5 are now deceased. The worst night ever."
My mother has been a veterinarian longer than I have been alive (she graduated pregnant with me) and an emergency vet for over a decade, but even she has a hard time with this much death in one night.
Things like that status help remind me that I did make the right decision, career-wise.
Another reason I would not be a great vet: I am not great with owners, or “pet parents.” My dad is fond of saying “Not all pet owners are crazy, but all crazy people have pets.” Truer words never spoken. Usually, these crazy clients just make for a good story.
One time, a client took her dead dog home and prayed over it for three days, thinking it would rise again. This same lady had previously explained to my father that all her dogs were sweet and wouldn’t bite because they “knew Jesus.”
One time, a lady told my mom that she wanted her dog’s penis to be completely removed during neutering, because it was visible to her daughter. Except she didn’t say “penis,” she said “princess.”
One time, a man told me he wanted to get his dog the distemper vaccine, because Fluffy had been kind of a jerk recently.
My parents have a lot of funny stories. But, they also have some stories about people just being assholes. So I asked them (and all of my other vet-friends) to provide me with some helpful hints on how to not be a dick at your local vet hospital. My mom even wrote her own blog about it.
1. Don’t Lie.
I lie to my doctors all the time. I lie to my dentist about flossing, I lie to my MD about how much I drink, and if I had an OB/GYN, I’m pretty sure I would lie to her, too. I would mostly embellish for her though; my sexual history is the most boring sexual history of all the sexual histories.
But, I don’t lie to my vet. Mostly because she is my mom and can tell if I’m lying, but also because it would suck if something happened to Angie because I was too embarrassed to admit that I occasionally let her drink beer with me.
If your dog ate your pot, it is really important that you tell the doctor that your dog ate your pot. THC is toxic to dogs. If your dog ate any prescription medication (legally obtained or otherwise), tell your vet. If your dog ate a condom that SOMEHOW has peanut butter inside it, tell your vet. Vets are also bound by doctor-patient confidentiality, so they’re not going to narc on you. They will report abuse however, such as people drugging their pets to “see what would happen.” Don’t do that.
Don’t lie about non-drug factors either. If you feed your pet human food, don’t say you only feed them IAMs. If you haven’t applied your flea prevention or heartworm prevention in a year, don’t say it’s been a month. Giving heartworm medication over heartworms can kill your pet, so it’s important that a heartworm test be done if you’ve fallen behind on the medication.
2. Follow instructions.
There was once a dog with two broken legs. My dad applied splints to each leg and told the owner to keep the dog confined and as stationary and dry as possible. The next week he went back to that same farm for a call and, as he so eloquently put it, “God damn if the dog didn’t chase my truck up the driveway... with splinted legs.”
Medical instructions are not suggestions. They are given from a place of medical knowledge. The above is an extreme example, but all instructions are important. Administer medications as directed and when directed and KEEP THE CONE OF SHAME ON.
Also, if you do have to go to an emergency clinic: GO TO YOUR FOLLOW-UP WITH YOUR REGULAR VET.
3. Pick One Point of Contact.
Your vet usually has several cases going at once and does not have the time to explain one set of findings to five different people. Pick one person for the vet to talk to and do not ask them to call your husband/wife/mom/breeder to re-explain themselves.
4. Treat your vet like a doctor.
Don’t tell my parents I admitted they are real doctors. My dad tried to suture me once and I had to be all “You’re not a real doctor,” but they are. The most disrespectful thing you can say to your vet is “But, I read on the Internet…” or “My breeder told me you would say that but…” We all read things on the Internet. You can read things I wrote on the Internet, proving that you should probably not get your facts from the Internet.
If you are concerned about vaccines: Ask your vet as many questions as you need to feel comfortable. Not all are legally required, and a good veterinarian should be able to tell which ones are needed for your pet’s lifestyle.
There is a reason they spent a quarter million dollars on their education, and that is so they can save the lives of sweet little animals.
5. Don’t try to emotionally bribe them.
I used to get really hurt when people would insinuate (or flat out accuse) my parents or the vets I worked for of being in it for the money. As I mentioned earlier, the average vet student graduates with a quarter million dollars of debt. Buying your own practice is another quarter million. The median income for this profession is 65K.
Surgeries for pets are expensive, but so are surgeries for people. Telling the vet they are effectively killing Princess Fluffy Face because you can’t afford treatment is a real dick move. Owning an animal is a financial responsibility. If you can’t afford to feed, vaccinate, and treat the ailments of your pet, you should not have one.
Expect to spend money. An office visit may be $50, but that only serves to identify the problem. Don’t expect a cheap home remedy for severe dermatitis.
But, if you are up-front about how much money you can spend (and we all get in tight spots) your vet can work with you and will know to focus on the treatment aspect of things. To quote my mother, “X-rays are not therapeutic.”
6. Don’t show up 10 minutes until closing.
Yes, hospitals are open until they are closed, but if your dog has been puking since 10 AM, don’t wait until 5:30 PM to come in. If something becomes apparent at 5:30 PM, it might be best to go to your emergency clinic. I would recommend getting to the vet at least 30 minutes prior to closing. Several of my vet friends have babies (furry and otherwise) they would like to get home to.
These are some of most common gripes, but the most important thing to remember is this:
Ninety percent of veterinarians are veterinarians because they feel they have a calling. I know enough of these people to know that they are not in it for the money. They are not in it for the hours. They are not in it for the heartbreak. They legitimately love animals.
My dad could care less about your baby, but he will talk to your puppy (not you, just the puppy) for an hour if you let him. I strongly suspect that he only visits me to visit Angie. He likes going to work, most vets I know do, and if they don’t it’s not because of Fluffy. It is because of Fluffy’s mom.
Sunday, 2 December 2012
shared on fb post. i almost wanted to cry. can it not be so grey?
[人物傳記] 21世紀，月薪三萬元的港人。
嗨，我叫Anson，從小居屋戶、爸媽經營洗衣店，收入
大學畢業後幾年間輾轉打了幾份工，每次跳槽有加薪，待遇
不妨直言，一個勤奮向上的高級銷售部主任平均月入三萬，
生活其實OK的，在這個香港地能有一個人的家、一個人的
阿晴是我一見鍾情的女生，除胸脯比較小巧外，實屬女神級
適逢她情傷過後，巧逢住得又近，而且我又自住關係，這個
當一個人的生活變成兩個人後，起初不同的只是多配一條門
我們開始為婚禮費用、婚後住屋問題與及家庭開支作出嚴謹
阿晴和FD2二選其一，我選擇了前者，賣了跟我出生入死
沒有了私家車又節衣縮食的情況底下，我每月儲來萬五元，
我，其實是十二分討厭乘坐交通工具，也不習慣跟陌生人你
一年後，我們順利結成夫婦，婚禮雖然不算富麗堂皇，阿晴
人情禮金連同血汗儲蓄，最後我們支付了首期，成功上樓當
就在這個快要迫瘋人的日子中，還出現一件令我百上加斤的
一個不如意的早上，捽數會議被老闆以粗言穢語問候；接著
在這個落幕低沉的晚上，我正想從公事包拿出白色的Hea
我：「唔打俾我先？」
晴：「電話費貴嘛！」
我：「傻豬黎既！做乜無端端過黎等我放工？」
晴：「嘿！因為我有個好消息要即刻同你分享喔！」
我：「妳終於加人工拿？」
晴：「加就加喇！不過係我哋即將添加成員呀！」
我：「添加…成員……？」
晴：「嘻嘻嘻……」
我：「嘻嘻？」
晴：「哎…我有咗BB呀，嘻嘻！」
我：「吓…妳乜唔係…有食pills…既……咩？」
晴：「哈！奶奶咁想抱孫，我咪幫幫手囉！」
我：「幾……幾耐…既…既事？」
晴：「嘻！岩岩Check咗，原來已經七個禮拜喇！」
我：「七……七七七…個禮拜……………？」
晴：「係呀！所以我哋要開始儲錢喇！」
我：「呃呃呃呃…呃……………」
晴：「嘻！我之前仲諗緊re唔resign好！」
我：「呃呃…呃呃呃呃……」
晴：「老…老公？」
我：「呃呃呃呃…呃呃呃…呃呃呃呃呃！！！！」
晴：「老公你做乜野呀……老公！老公？」
我：「呃呃呃呃！呃呃呃！呃呃！呃呃呃！呃！呃呃呃呃！
我Down機了。
醒來後，我被困在一間白色的房…
不…是黑色的…不……
是白色……
不……
我沒有手錶，牆上也沒有掛鐘，只有一張床和一部電視，之
我想人人也懂跳我這支開心舞。
嗨，我叫Anson，從小居屋戶、爸媽經營洗衣店，收入
大學畢業後幾年間輾轉打了幾份工，每次跳槽有加薪，待遇
不妨直言，一個勤奮向上的高級銷售部主任平均月入三萬，
生活其實OK的，在這個香港地能有一個人的家、一個人的
阿晴是我一見鍾情的女生，除胸脯比較小巧外，實屬女神級
適逢她情傷過後，巧逢住得又近，而且我又自住關係，這個
當一個人的生活變成兩個人後，起初不同的只是多配一條門
我們開始為婚禮費用、婚後住屋問題與及家庭開支作出嚴謹
阿晴和FD2二選其一，我選擇了前者，賣了跟我出生入死
沒有了私家車又節衣縮食的情況底下，我每月儲來萬五元，
我，其實是十二分討厭乘坐交通工具，也不習慣跟陌生人你
一年後，我們順利結成夫婦，婚禮雖然不算富麗堂皇，阿晴
人情禮金連同血汗儲蓄，最後我們支付了首期，成功上樓當
就在這個快要迫瘋人的日子中，還出現一件令我百上加斤的
一個不如意的早上，捽數會議被老闆以粗言穢語問候；接著
在這個落幕低沉的晚上，我正想從公事包拿出白色的Hea
我：「唔打俾我先？」
晴：「電話費貴嘛！」
我：「傻豬黎既！做乜無端端過黎等我放工？」
晴：「嘿！因為我有個好消息要即刻同你分享喔！」
我：「妳終於加人工拿？」
晴：「加就加喇！不過係我哋即將添加成員呀！」
我：「添加…成員……？」
晴：「嘻嘻嘻……」
我：「嘻嘻？」
晴：「哎…我有咗BB呀，嘻嘻！」
我：「吓…妳乜唔係…有食pills…既……咩？」
晴：「哈！奶奶咁想抱孫，我咪幫幫手囉！」
我：「幾……幾耐…既…既事？」
晴：「嘻！岩岩Check咗，原來已經七個禮拜喇！」
我：「七……七七七…個禮拜……………？」
晴：「係呀！所以我哋要開始儲錢喇！」
我：「呃呃呃呃…呃……………」
晴：「嘻！我之前仲諗緊re唔resign好！」
我：「呃呃…呃呃呃呃……」
晴：「老…老公？」
我：「呃呃呃呃…呃呃呃…呃呃呃呃呃！！！！」
晴：「老公你做乜野呀……老公！老公？」
我：「呃呃呃呃！呃呃呃！呃呃！呃呃呃！呃！呃呃呃呃！
我Down機了。
醒來後，我被困在一間白色的房…
不…是黑色的…不……
是白色……
不……
我沒有手錶，牆上也沒有掛鐘，只有一張床和一部電視，之
我想人人也懂跳我這支開心舞。
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
What is Love?
- found this in the "from people >> jas k" folder today (2003).
What is Love?
A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds. "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
Rebecca – age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
Billy – age 4
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Chrissy – age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Terri – age 4
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.
Danny – age 7
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Jenny – age 4
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday
Noelle – age 7
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Clare – age 5
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
Chris – age 8
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
Billy – age 4
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Chrissy – age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
Terri – age 4
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay.
Danny – age 7
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Jenny – age 4
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday
Noelle – age 7
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Clare – age 5
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
Chris – age 8
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day
Jessica – age 6
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Mark – age 6
You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Mark – age 6
You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Friday, 20 January 2012
Tips for Fun at Work
*adapted vetlearn.com*
- Wear different funny hats, sunglasses, or masks to the team meetings.
- Name the laboratory equipment and call it by name.
- Keep bubbles, crayons, and child toys to pass around at meetings.
- Copy someone’s hand using the copier. Type on it: “Need a pat on the back? Stand here.” Tack the sign on a wall where everyone can lean against it for the pat on the back.
- In the bathroom, put up signs that say “Looking good!” or “You are great—Smile!”
- Put up a humour/rumor board; first, make certain everyone knows what is appropriate humor for the clinic.
- Watch a movie together and discuss learning points from it that can be used at the clinic. Good movies to try are Apollo 13 and 12 Angry Men. Encourage the team to look for movies to use.
- Have a “Joy Jar.” Each month, decide that there will be a 25-cent penalty for a negative behavior, like saying “can’t.” The penalty money goes into the Joy Jar. At the end of the month, identify two people to be the Joy team. The Joy team decides how to use the money in the Joy Jar to spread joy in the clinic. For example, you might have a masseuse come in to give neck massages or get someone to come in and speak on managing stress.
- Help team members develop their sense of humor by supporting their sharing of funny incidents and stories. Look for opportunities to help people take themselves and their jobs less seriously. Share positive stories, and encourage others to share them with the team.
- Make sure you have a supply of fun office toys (e.g., Silly Putty, Slinkys, Pez dispensers, Frisbees, Nerf balls, Koosh balls).
- Bring a camera to work and catch people having fun. Put the photos on a “Wall of Fame” board with funny or heartwarming captions.
- Post photos from newspapers and magazines on a bulletin board, and have team members write funny captions on sticky notes around the photos.
- Put fun messages on employees’ paychecks to recognize their performance or special days like their birthday or work anniversary.
Monday, 16 January 2012
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Suess
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
YOu have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yoursef
and direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know wht you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups can happen to you.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
through your enemies prowl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your gumboots may leak.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and def.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So... Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way!
- parchment given to murdoch vet graduates 2011 at graduation dinner 2nd december, 2011.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Friday, 25 June 2010
wk 3 of holz ~ oka brief, rain, mk (al)
i'm so rude =P
but this actually inspired some interesting conversation with various people...
茶會for OKA trip ^^
some mad weather in hk...
玫瑰柚子茶... yum.
茶會for OKA trip ^^
some mad weather in hk...
玫瑰柚子茶... yum.
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