absolutely incredible

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/27/travis-mills_n_5397921.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063\

Quadruple Amputee Soldier: I'm Not A Victim

I am not a victim.

Never give up.
Never quit.

I admire posts like this.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5361465?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Heartbreaking Photo Project Captures Everyday Heroes In Their Last Moments Of Life

http://rightbeforeidie.com/

"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know what sort of disease a person has."

This wisdom, originally attributed to Hippocrates who lived until 377 BC, rings true in the photography of Andrew George, whose project "Right Before I Die" is a striking meditation on life and loss. The Los Angeles-based artist captures humble yet heartbreaking portraits of everyday people in their final moments of life, forced to confront the daunting reality of death until it meets them head on.

Josefina

"When the idea for this project came to me, the mother of a friend had recently passed away and at her memorial, I marveled at how there was so much genuine love for her," George explained to The Huffington Post. "I began to wonder what it was about this woman that brought that out. She had this magic in the clear and wise way she spoke and never took herself too seriously. She laughed more than anyone I knew, reacted with sincerity and interest to her friends, and had so much passion in her fearless curiosity to travel and explore different cultures of the world. She was, quite simply, one of the best people I've known, yet, regrettably, was no one you'd ever learn about if you didn’t know her because her material accomplishments did not include fame."

George became interested in those living with the knowledge of their impending deaths, those "unremarkable" people who for so long went unnoticed at bus stops, in markets, on the sidewalk. With a single diagnosis these everyday citizens become unacknowledged heroes, forced to fight with inconceivable strength as the body continues to weaken. "For all of them, it started much as it will start for you: a strangely persistent itch at the back of the head, a discomfort on the left side, a lump fingered in the shower. Something [that] became impossible to ignore," Alain de Botton explains in a foreword for the project.

Sara

To better understand this final, and often unseen, phase of life, George searched for a hospice that would allow him to spend time with its patients. Many turned him down, except Dr. Marwa Kilani at Providence Holy Cross Medical Center in Los Angeles. Dr. Kilani was drawn to George's project and, after looking at his previous work, began asking exceptional patients if they would be interested in meeting with him. George would spend a few hours getting to know each individual, their journey, their stories and their fears, and attempt to capture it all in a portrait. He purposefully excluded any mention of the subjects' professions or illnesses in the piece to prevent distractions.

"Watching his ability to capture color in the simplest elements of a hospital room and reflecting light onto the faces of each patient was a delicate process," Dr. Kilani said in a statement. "Finding beauty in the sterility of a hospital environment is not simple. But the challenge of the seeming monotony makes his images so powerful." Indeed George's images are as simple as they are gut-wrenching, containing within them the attributes of an individual whose defining features are already starting to give way. Some express strength or happiness while others appear less conscious or expressive, all captured in the stark lights of the hospice rooms.

George's brave and thoughtful project showcases the many courageous spirits who will never be written about in history books. Some, sadly, will barely even be acknowledged as much as they deserve. "The dying are the great appreciators," Botton writes. "They notice the value of the sunshine on a spring afternoon, a few minutes with a grandchild, another breath… And they know what spoilt ingrates we are, not stopping to register the wonder of every passing minute. They were once like us of course. They wasted decades but now they are in a position to know of their folly and warn us of our own."

As George put it, "these men and women were no different from any of us, and, sooner or later we would all be experiencing what they were." See the beautiful series below and let us know your thoughts in the comments.

• Abel
  
• Chuck
  
• Irene
  
• Jack
  
• Michael
  
• Ralph
  
• Rene'
  
• Sarah
  

Reminder - a light unto the world.

"The God we discover in prayer should radiate out, through us, into the world, so that we become a source of illumination."

- Father Robert Barron

TED vid

巴菲特說的七段話，簡短精辟!

1做你沒做過的事情叫成長
  做你不願意做的事情叫改變
  做你不敢做的事情叫突破

2如果你向神求助
  說明你相信神的能力
  如果神沒有幫助你
  說明神相信你的能力

3隨著年齡的增長
  我們並不是失去了一些朋友
  而是我們懂得了誰才是真正的朋友

4當有人逼迫你去突破自己
  你要感恩她,
  她是你生命中的貴人,
  也許你會因此而改變和蛻變

5當沒有人逼迫你
  請自己逼迫自己
  因為真正的改變是~
  自己想改變

6 蛻變的過程是很痛苦的
  但每一次的蛻變都會有成長的驚喜

7巴菲特在美國一所大學舉行演講
  一個學生問：
  你認為什麼樣的人生才是真正的成功？
  他沒有談到財富，而是說： 
  其實，你們到了我這個年紀的時候
  就會發現，
  衡量自己成功的標準  就是~
  有多少人在真正關心你、愛你。

  幸福的關鍵是~我們越早明白這四個道理越好

【1】
當人到30好幾的時候，
身體健康，略有積蓄，
已婚，配偶體貼，
孩子聽話，父母無大礙，
有一份真正喜歡的工作，
不必成名，也不必發財，
不必老要看人眼色行事，
做想做的那個自己，
這就是「成功」！

【2】
因癌辭世的復旦大學教授于娟，在生前日記寫道：
在生死臨界點的時候，
您會發現，任何的加班
（長期熬夜等於慢性自殺）
給自己太多的壓力，
買房買車的需求，
這些都是「浮雲」！

如果有時間，
好好陪陪你的孩子，
把買車的錢給父母親買雙鞋子，不要拼命去換什麼大房子，和相愛的人在一起，
蝸居也温暖！

【3】
假如有一天你病倒了或者猝死了，你服務的單位會第一時間找到人替代你，
一切照常運作，
你没想像得那麼重要！

而你的父母、家人、愛人
孩子的天會塌下來，
你對於他們是最重要的。
適度工作，多陪家人，
愛惜自己！

【4】
什麼是幸福？
家裡没病人，牢裡没親人
外邊没仇人，圈裡没小人
身邊没壞人，辦事有熟人，
談笑有哲人，聚會有高人！
當您看完時，是不是感觸很深？ 我願將這篇好的文章與我愛的與愛我的親朋好友們分享！

beautiful photos with great theme.

http://www.bradensummers.com/menu/all-love-is-equal/

stardust

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/20/ludovic-florent_n_4811155.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

beautiful photos of nude dancer

Ludovic Florent

touching. sweet. story.

http://mamaclub.com/%E9%8D%BE%E9%8E%AE%E6%BF%A4%EF%BC%9A%E5%A4%A7%E8%B5%B7%E5%A4%A7%E8%90%BD%E5%BE%8C%E6%96%B9%E7%9F%A5%E6%9C%80%E5%A5%BD%E7%9A%84%EF%BC%8C%E5%8E%9F%E4%BE%86%E6%98%AF%E6%9C%80%E7%B0%A1%E5%96%AE%E7%9A%84/

鍾鎮濤：大起大落後方知最好的，原來是最簡單的

幸好，那時世界上有那麽傻的她

2012年5月31日下午4點，鍾鎮濤走進位於北京朝陽區的公司會議室，笑著跟記者握手，親切地拍拍記者的肩膀說：「辛苦了。」就這樣，兩杯白開水，簡潔的會議室，他的故事從人生的最低點開始講起。

1997年的一天，鍾鎮濤剛下樓就被30多個記者堵住了。記者們拿著妻子章小蕙和他一個好友的激吻照片，問他的感想。那一刻，鍾鎮濤覺得腦子一片空白，根本不知道該說什麼。自己的老婆出軌還是通過媒體知道，對鍾鎮濤來說，這真是個天大的羞恥。在所有人投來的同情目光裡，他覺得苦不堪言。這之前，鍾鎮濤一直認為結了婚就成了家人，家人就是一輩子的，可是，突然而來的醜聞讓他明白了，原來婚姻不等於一輩子。

幾個月後，好友歐陽龍舉辦家宴，請了很多人吃飯，這其中有鍾鎮濤和范姜。飯桌上一群朋友聊天，自然提到了鍾鎮濤，朋友們紛紛勸慰，包括剛從法國舞蹈專業畢業的范姜。鍾鎮濤說，那時的范姜，對自己瞭解很少，甚至不知道鍾鎮濤和阿B是同一個人，更不知道自己是個有名的明星。

隨著接觸的增多，兩個人自然而然地走到了一起。范姜眼中的鍾鎮濤是個少有的好男人，細心體貼而且特別會照顧人；而鍾鎮濤眼中的范姜則是個懂事獨立有想法、卻一點沒有小姐脾氣的好女孩。

1998年，鍾鎮濤和章小蕙離婚，兩個孩子均由鍾鎮濤撫養。當時，兒子8歲，大女兒只有3歲。那時的范姜和很多20出頭的女孩一樣，善良也簡單，她在乎的只是兩個人相愛，覺得只要有了這點，其他的都不是問題。於是很多複雜的事件和狀況，到了范姜那兒都變成了一句「那又怎樣」。

隨著戀情升溫，兩個人住到一起，范姜自然地接管了鍾鎮濤的兩個孩子。孩子們的撫養權還沒有判決時，鍾鎮濤和章小蕙展開了一場拉鋸戰。週一到週四兩個孩子在鍾鎮濤這邊上學，週五由章小蕙接回去，每到週末，兩個孩子可以不寫作業，可以吃薯條也可以晚睡覺，做的都是小孩子喜歡的事。范姜很心疼，並沒有因「後媽」的敏感身份放棄對孩子們的管教，她要求兩個孩子好好寫作業、按時睡覺也要好好吃飯。鍾鎮濤說，在教育兩個孩子的問題上，范姜費了很多心思，每一件事都要向身邊的人請教，然後再琢磨怎麽做更合適。

照顧孩子已經夠煩了，可是鍾鎮濤讓人煩的事遠不止這一件。作為一個明星，他會唱歌會演戲，可是，卻對投資一無所知。和前妻結婚時，他帶著對家人的信任，把財政全權交由前妻的娘家人來管理。後來投資失利，他也不清楚自己到底欠了多少債。范姜接手了鍾鎮濤糟糕的財政狀況後，才發現他每個月兩三百萬的收入都要用來還債，而且還的還僅僅是利息，在范姜的分析和建議後，鍾鎮濤決定宣佈破產。

2002年10月，香港破產局正式宣佈鍾鎮濤破產。香港是個不大的城市，鍾鎮濤是個很大的明星，這個壞消息像當年前妻出軌的新聞一樣很快再次「家喻戶曉」。在香港，破產之後的4年會受到許多約束，比如沒有房子、沒有車子、不能買名牌……有一段日子，鍾鎮濤和范姜帶著孩子頻繁換著住處。

最後一家人在麥當勞道旁住了下來，這是香港有名的廉價房區。鍾鎮濤自己都不知道那段日子是怎麽熬過去的，感覺像被掏空了，腦子一片空白。只是接工作，工作完就回家，在家裡也不說話，有飯吃能睡覺就可以。

有一天工作結束得比較早，女兒嘉晴跟鍾鎮濤說好久沒有出去吃飯了，想去吃日本料理。於是，一家人就去了一家平價日本料理店，到了之後，服務員先是推說沒有空位，後來點餐時又說「這個沒有了，那個也沒有了」，言語間盡顯「你都破產了還配吃這個？」吃完飯，鍾鎮濤讓范姜先帶孩子上樓，自己在下面待一會兒。看著范姜走遠，他就在小花園的一個角落裡，忍不住哭了。把孩子安頓好，范姜就下來了，當時的鍾鎮濤很狼狽，他大聲趕范姜：「你走，你走啊！我什麼都沒有了，我是個沒用的男人，我對不起家人！孩子們跟著我那是沒辦法，可是，你走吧，我給不了你幸福，我什麼都給不了你！」范姜說什麼都不走，後來兩個人抱在一起大哭一場。

范姜沒有離開，而且家境不錯的她陸續賣掉了自己的一些珠寶首飾貼補家用。破產後，原來由助理、幫傭做的事都落在了范姜身上，鍾鎮濤甚至請不起化妝師，范姜就跟在片場，充當他的助理，為他擦汗補妝。

「幸好，那時世界上有那麽傻的她，如果她離開了，我都不知道怎麽辦。」鍾鎮濤把范姜的好一點點都記在了心裡。2006年破產令結束後，他用第一份收入為范姜買了一枚戒指，後來就養成了為范姜買珠寶的習慣。

熬過了破產後最難熬的那一段日子後，大兒子和大女兒也漸漸長大了。這時范姜跟鍾鎮濤說想生個孩子好以後有個伴兒，鍾鎮濤覺得范姜的個性嚴謹，他想了想，要求范姜答應，「不可以給孩子壓力，不可以強迫孩子什麼都做到最好才能生」，范姜答應了。

愛兒女，甘願做把孩子寵上天的爸爸

2004年10月，鍾鎮濤和范姜的第一個女兒鍾懿出生了。這是鍾鎮濤的第3個孩子，但是，做爸爸的幸福感卻一點都不少。鍾鎮濤從未抱怨過養孩子的辛苦，而且直言「鍾懿出生後，她給了我最大的工作動力，我就這樣又慢慢地開始回來，上軌道了」。

不工作時，鍾鎮濤是個名副其實的「宅男」，最大的樂趣就是和孩子們一起玩。鍾懿上了幼兒園之後，鍾鎮濤幾乎天天接送女兒。工作在外的時候，他每天都要給家裡打個電話，工作一結束就趕緊飛回香港，常常是一下飛機給范姜打個電話報聲平安，然後直接去鍾懿的學校守在校門口。放學鈴聲一響，鍾懿看到鍾鎮濤就會大喊一聲「爸爸」，然後跳著下樓，衝到鍾鎮濤的懷裡。

雖然給鍾懿準備了專門的臥室，可是鍾懿最喜歡睡在爸爸和媽媽中間。有一次，鍾鎮濤感冒了，過了一周還沒好，一直咳嗽。這天晚上，父女倆躺在床上，鍾懿對鍾鎮濤說：「爸爸，你生病了，你別向著我睡，你轉過去睡吧。」鍾鎮濤連聲說好，「我也不想傳染你，你要是生病了就不能去上課了。」他轉過身去，這時4歲半的鍾懿對著鍾鎮濤的後背解釋說：「不是，不是，我不是怕傳染。我是想這樣你再咳嗽的時候我就可以幫你捶背了！」那一剎那，鍾鎮濤覺得眼睛濕潤了，心裡暖暖的，有女如此，能不幸福嗎？

相比起大兒子和大女兒，鍾懿繼承了鍾鎮濤的演唱天賦，天生一副好嗓子，也更擅長表達自己。鍾懿兩歲半時，「溫拿五虎」舉行巡迴演唱會，作為樂隊主唱的鍾鎮濤帶著范姜和鍾懿隨行。演唱會上熱鬧的音樂聲，歌迷的尖叫聲，讓鍾懿既興奮又享受，她總想逃開大人衝上臺去加入演唱。

而鍾鎮濤也樂得把經驗和技巧傳授給她，音樂成為父女共同的遊戲和樂趣。只要有表演的機會，鍾鎮濤就讓鍾懿演一個，從家裡的小聚會一直演到了電視上。鍾鎮濤也會帶鍾懿一起進錄音棚，接觸專業設備，愛唱歌的鍾懿唱得越來越好。

2010年，鍾懿的妹妹鍾幗出生了。為了感謝范姜，鍾鎮濤決定送給愛人一份特別的禮物。於是他和女兒鍾懿第一次合作錄了「閃閃的星辰」這首歌。鍾懿唱得很有感覺，范姜收到禮物也非常感動，而這時，鍾鎮濤暗下決心，要專門為鍾懿寫一首歌。

一天，當他聽到陶大偉20多年前寫的一首民謠「媽媽的話」頓覺眼前一亮。朗朗上口的質樸旋律，兩代人的對話，這不正是自己要找的嗎？於是，鍾鎮濤趕緊找朋友修改歌詞，改成一首新歌《爸爸的話》。當鍾鎮濤把女兒帶進錄音棚，旋律響起時，深情地說：「這首歌是專門拿給我們倆唱的一首新歌。」鍾懿聽後愣了一下，然後張開雙臂，像一隻飛翔的小鳥，飛進鍾鎮濤的懷裡哭了，親著他的臉說：「謝謝爸爸。」

那時，鍾鎮濤也正在準備出自己的新專輯，這個準備工作已經做了近8年，自2004年以後鍾鎮濤就沒出過新專輯了，並且這也是第一次代表個人發專輯。

鍾鎮濤把《爸爸的話》收錄到2012年6月的新專輯中，並在一個晚會上帶著女兒唱了這首歌，沒想到竟一炮而紅。為新專輯飛往各處做宣傳的他調侃道：「現在流行樂壇變化太快了，我只好把女兒搬出來幫忙。」

因為《爸爸的話》，鍾鎮濤在一些採訪中講了許多關於兒女的故事，4個兒女，一樣的父愛，一個都不少。

22歲的大兒子現在在美國讀書，已經是完全不用操心的大人。以前，鍾鎮濤總擔心兒子遠在美國會吸毒或者做其他的錯事，破產之後，只要有機會能去美國看兒子，哪怕演出酬勞低得可憐，他都會毫不猶豫地答應。現在，他把兒子當成朋友，像男人和男人那樣談論汽車和體育之類的話題。可是，在交女朋友的問題上，兒子常常會跟范姜傾訴「小秘密」。

17歲的大女兒嘉晴在台灣宜蘭讀寄宿學校，這一點曾經讓鍾鎮濤非常心疼和不捨。鍾鎮濤離婚之後，嘉晴從來沒有離開過他和范姜。嘉晴喜歡畫畫，並且在比賽中拿過獎。到了上中學時，香港學校沒有合適的選擇，而范姜的家人都在台灣，於是鍾鎮濤為嘉晴選了一所台灣的中學。

送嘉晴來台灣的那天，鍾鎮濤一路無語心裡很難過，嘉晴則表現得很開心，她說：「台灣很好呀，還可以喝珍珠奶茶呢。」車子開到了學校，鍾鎮濤抓著嘉晴的手許久不肯放開。等到終於下了車，嘉晴對他說：「爸爸，拜拜。」鍾鎮濤看見女兒的眼中有了一點淚光，他的眼睛立刻濕了，「要是嘉晴再看我一眼，我就要忍不住把她帶回去了。還好是送到了台灣，如果是送到國外，我就更不容易看到她了。」他這樣安慰自己。開始的一周，戀家的嘉晴天天往家打電話，也常常哭著說想家。這時，電話另一邊的鍾鎮濤就會哭得比女兒更厲害。

有篇媒體報導，鍾鎮濤為大女兒夾菜17年，曾接受心理測試，結果是對孩子的寵溺指數高到破表，但鍾鎮濤始終覺得「沒什麼不好，會繼續這樣做！」

最小的女兒鍾幗剛剛兩歲半，生活主要還是范姜照顧，鍾鎮濤親切地稱呼她「中國小姐」。他說：「中國小姐很像她的姐姐鍾懿，也很有唱歌的天分。」

寵愛孩子的鍾鎮濤對4個孩子並沒有很高的要求，主張尊重孩子們的興趣和選擇，如果真的要提一點要求的話，他說希望孩子們成為「有想法的，正直孝順的人」。

被女兒催婚，要珍惜身邊的人

眼看著兒女們都長大了，鍾鎮濤和范姜也不知不覺攜手走過了15年，除了沒有婚禮，他們的生活和其他的夫妻沒有什麼區別。採訪中，每次提到范姜，鍾鎮濤總是以「愛人」相稱。「在家裡你們一般誰說了算？」我問，「當然是我說了算，范姜批準我在外面時這樣說。」鍾鎮濤笑著回答。

破產以後，因為請不起助理，范姜很多時候要陪在鍾鎮濤的身邊，替他打理雜事。後來條件好了，范姜就不需要再做這樣的瑣事了。對人生低谷時的朋友和經歷，二人都很感恩，現在，范姜把很多時間花在公益活動上。除此以外，只要時間允許，她仍然會跟著鍾鎮濤到處跑，爭取盡可能多點時間在一起。

有一次鍾鎮濤到上海，一家日本料理的天婦羅范姜最喜歡，鍾鎮濤便專程跑去點好這道菜打包，然後坐飛機帶回香港。回家之後，鍾鎮濤也不告訴范姜，等到范姜發現這份禮物時非常感動。除此之外，細心的鍾鎮濤還會做很多讓愛人感動的小事。

「我們一家人不分彼此，都是互相支持。」鍾鎮濤說。跟鍾懿一起合唱，其他子女都不會吃醋，而且一家人更趁著到巴黎度假為《爸爸的話》拍了MV，十分團結溫馨。

鍾鎮濤的生活裡似乎總有一些意外事故。2011年4月，章小蕙的妹妹章小婉和范姜在公寓的大堂碰了個對面，他們之前都不知道住在同一個大廈。二人言語不和起了爭執，後來章小婉要告范姜毀了自己的手機，不久之後，又有報導稱章小蕙返港要告鍾鎮濤虐待女兒嘉晴，但是最後都不了了之。對這次事故，與前妻章小蕙一同去了美國留學的大兒子，對生母的自私非常不滿，而女兒嘉晴則更堅決地否認了虐待一事。

很多記者跟蹤和偷拍，結果是，不但沒有拍到范姜與嘉晴怎麽不和，反而拍到了很多范姜與嘉晴相處時的照片，兩人有說有笑，一起吃飯、逛街、購物，像一對親密的姐妹。對整個事件，鍾鎮濤的態度很簡單，跟前妻章小蕙早已是路人，至於章小蕙提到的虐待，鍾鎮濤都懶得辯解，「事實擺在那裡，根本不需要回答。」

2012年母親節，嘉晴在微博上祝范姜節慶快樂，並寫出：「媽媽，節慶快樂，你是我唯一的媽媽！」顯示出了與范姜「生不如養」的深厚情感。

既然孩子們都這麽喜歡范姜，有人就臆測鍾鎮濤不娶范姜是因為被前妻傷得太慘，不相信婚姻了。鍾鎮濤對這樣的流言笑得風輕雲淡，他說：「開始在一起時，正是我落魄的時候，覺得跟范姜結婚是耽誤人家，畢竟她比我小20多歲，可以有更多更好的選擇。後來等我們想辦婚禮的時候就總是出狀況，或者我工作太忙或者范姜意外懷孕。」

鍾鎮濤和范姜不在乎婚禮這事，這可急壞了鍾懿。鍾懿5歲時，有一次鄭重地問范姜：「別的小朋友家裡都放著爸爸媽媽的結婚照片，為什麼你和爸爸沒有？」范姜只好回答說：「因為太忙，有時間了就會和爸爸結婚。」鍾懿7歲了，有一天又鄭重地跟鍾鎮濤說：「爸爸，我要回我的房間睡，以後我不跟你睡了。」鍾鎮濤聽了說，「好好，你自己睡。」鍾懿接著補充道：「我現在自己睡，等我再長大一點就和男朋友一起睡。」「你不能和男朋友一起睡呀，你要長大以後結婚才能和自己的老公一起睡！」鍾鎮濤急忙糾正鍾懿。「可是，你跟媽不是也沒結婚嗎？」鍾鎮濤被問得說不出話來了，只好抓狂地跑到另外一個房間向正在哄鍾幗的范姜求助。

鍾鎮濤表示，未來一定會有一個和范姜的婚禮，但絕不會像年輕時的婚禮那樣追求奢華，會好好珍惜身邊的人。對他來說，人生經過從天堂到地獄的大起大落，現在雖然沒有大富大貴，卻像是剝離了浮華，現在在人間的生活最真實也最踏實。新專輯「最好的，原來是最簡單」，便是這麽多年來生活給他的最深的感悟。

Interesting post. Stay at home mum vs working mum

http://m.huffpost.com/ca/entry/4770600?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Asking better questions...

A skill I thought of getting better at.
Huffington Post shares interesting articles I read. Today's one was about asking better questions in a relationship.

When did you feel loved today?

When did you feel lonely?

What did I do today that made you feel appreciated?

What did I say that made you feel unnoticed?

What can I do to help you right now?

Prolly make that one of my New Year resolution?

DP article

負 責 任
food for thought...

not to rely on others for your own wellbeing.
easier said than done though, no?
relationships are relationships because it's a dynamic thing?

Travelling with kids

http://kellyla1028.pixnet.net/blog/post/42352468

11種好習慣

喜不喜歡馬雲為人也好，講管理講用人，他確是個一等一的高手，三言兩語言簡意骸正中核心，佩服到不能！
1.「誠實講信用」──一言既出，駟馬難追，言出必行。說到無論如何一定做到，做不到的絕對不會答應。能力需要時間證明，信譽口碑需要時間建立，必須持之以恒，對自己講的每一句說話、做的每一作事負責。人心歸向，上行下效，無往不利。
2.「對生命充滿熱情」──連自己把火都撻不着，如何撻得着其他人？不如意事十常八九，九死一生是常識，哪來的信心信念克服重重險阻挫敗，關關難過關關過？熱愛生命，人自然樂觀積極，屢敗屢戰。人生只要充滿希望，鬥志意志幾時都可以咁高昂。
3.「自信但不自負」──自信不是盲目得把口話自己得就得，是憑經驗累積確立起的做判斷力及處事能力。自負是目空一切自以為是，和驕傲是同體雙生，驕者，必敗！
4.「擁有積極陽光心態」──即是我們掛在嘴邊的positive thinking正面思維是也！以正面看事物，事物以正面看你。相反以負面看，負面會帶你沉淪然後收拾你。
5.「目標明確」──沒有目標誤衝亂撞，人仰馬翻結果一事無成。旗幟鮮明，方向明確，集中火力，全力以赴，向着目標直走，最直接又快捷。
6.「凡事主動」──天助自助者，等運到一世等不到！站得高才看得遠，站得前才會看得見，又能被看見。凡事多走一步多想一步，一步一步累積起來，差很遠！
7.「做正確的事、正確地做事」──該做的事馬上做，理不該理的事耽擱正事理來幹甚麼？平凡中見真章，從最基本步驟按部就班一絲不鬆懈，日積月累就是高手。
8.「非常勤奮、用心」──天道酬勤，一勤天下無難事！再加心無旁騖，冇得輸！
9.「有愛心、大度，受人歡迎」──得人心者得天下，有愛就包容，懂得就慈悲。心胸廣闊毫不計較，有風度有量度，是為大氣，人心歸向，所向披靡！
10.「做事專心、細心，不求最好，但求更好」──百密難免有一疏，要是不密全部疏，所有工夫全部白費。一心不能二用，魔鬼盡在細節中，勝負就在慎密中，精益求精，沒有最好，只有更好。
11.「經得起寂寞，耐得住誘惑」──沉默是金，言多有失，省吾身思己過，必須學習和孤獨做朋友。花言巧語利令智昏，墮落話都冇咁易，必須遠離夏迎春，迎不得更加近不得，緊記！

朱子治家格言

黎明即起，灑掃庭除，要內外整潔。既昏便息，關鎖門戶，必親自檢點。一粥一飯，
當思來處不易．半絲半縷，恆念物力維艱。宜未雨而綢繆，毋臨渴而掘井。自奉必須
儉約，宴客切勿留連。器具質而潔，瓦缶勝金玉。飲食約而精，園蔬勝珍饈。勿營華
屋，勿謀良田。
三姑六婆，實淫盜之媒．婢美妾嬌，非閨房之福。奴僕勿用俊美，妻妾切忌艷妝。祖
宗雖遠，祭祀不可不誠．子孫雖愚，經書不可不讀。居身務期質樸，教子要有義方。
勿貪意外之財，勿飲過量之酒。
與肩挑貿易，勿佔便宜．見貧苦親鄰，須多溫恤。刻薄成家，理無久享．倫常乖舛，
立見消亡。兄弟叔侄，須多分潤寡．長幼內外，宜法屬辭嚴。聽婦言，乖骨肉，豈是
丈夫．重資財，薄父母，不成人子。嫁女擇佳婿，毋索重聘．娶媳求淑女，毋計厚奩
。
見富貴而生讒容者，最可恥．遇貧窮而作驕態者，賤莫甚。居家戒爭訟，訟則終凶。
處世戒多言，言多必失。毋恃勢力而凌逼孤寡，勿貪口腹而恣殺生禽。乖僻自是，悔
誤必多．頹惰自甘，家道難成。狎昵惡少，久必受其累．屈誌老成，急則可相依。輕
聽發言，安知非人之譖訴，當忍耐三思．因事相爭，安知非我之不是，須平心遭暗想
。
施惠勿念，受恩莫忘。凡事當留余地，得意不宜再往。人有喜慶，不可生妒忌心。人
有禍患，不可生喜幸心。善欲人見，不是真善．惡恐人知，便是大惡。見色而起淫心
，報在妻女．匿怨而用暗箭，禍延子孫。
家門和順，雖饔飧不繼，亦有余歡．國課早完，即囊橐無余，自得至樂。讀書誌在聖
賢，為官心存君國。守分安命，順時聽天。為人若此，庶乎近焉。

Vulnerability.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Interesting talk.

12 steps to self care...

A good reminder...

Definitely powerful photos.

http://www.boredpanda.com/must-see-powerful-photos/

廖啟智 - 愛是永不止息 (與兒子抗癌) 原汁原味的cMoneyHome內容在這裡>> http://www.cmoneyhome.com/article/567/%E5%BB%96%E5%95%9F%E6%99%BA%20-%20%E6%84%9B%E6%98%AF%E6%B0%B8%E4%B8%8D%E6%AD%A2%E6%81%AF%20(%E8%88%87%E5%85%92%E5%AD%90%E6%8A%97%E7%99%8C)#ixzz2jgLUQYSi

touching. link.

VLE email.

Colin Powell’s book, “It Worked for Me: in Life and Leadership.”   

Here they are set out in blue bold font, right out of his book, with my own thoughts that follow:

1.             It ain’t as bad as you think.  It will look better in the morning.   My take on this is that all big decisions are worth sleeping on.   When we are tired and/or stressed, even little issues can look like huge ones.  Better to get some sleep and see how it looks in the morning.   Refreshed, you can have another go at reviewing your strategy and position and see it through your fresh and best eyes.

2.             Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.   I believe that this applies in several ways.  Don’t have your sense of self-worth attached to a job, title or position.  Those things come and go and for that reason, they shouldn’t define you…YOU define you.   Likewise, your position on an issue may not be the one ultimately taken by folks in charge.   Being a great team member is all about stating your position authentically, ethically and passionately…even in disagreement with the greater sense of the group…and then as a member of the group, moving ahead with deep-rooted loyalty to carry out the group’s mission and vision, even if as a member you disagreed.  As General Powell said, “Loyalty is disagreeing strongly; loyalty is executing faithfully.”

3.             It can be done!   This one is simple…remove the word can’t from your operational planning language as often as possible.   Know that a positive mental attitude and mindset can take you to heights you never believed you would achieve.   Remember the words of Henry Ford, “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are right!”

4.             Be careful what you choose.   Don’t rush into decisions…measured thought and cooler heads often carry the day.  Know that whatever you choose and work to achieve, you may well ‘receive’ so whenever possible, be very careful to choose wisely, thoughtfully and calmly.   Make sure those choices align with your core values and authentic beliefs.

5.             Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. I believe that sometimes you can look at all the facts and see several courses of action, each of which may have some clear detractors…some adverse risk!   In those moments you often need to fall back to core mission, vision and values…then go with your gut.  Remember, you are better to have failed doing the right thing than to have succeeded in doing the wrong thing!

6.             You can’t make someone else’s choices.  I love this one!   This is all about me being the boss of me.   It’s about knowing our responsibilities and then being responsible for the outcome of our efforts.  Each of us can only make choices for ourselves.  We can’t make choices for others.  We can’t make other people be happy.  They are the boss of them, we are the boss of us.   Simple to comprehend, but difficult to live with, especially in a challenging world. 

7.             Check the small things.  Little things can become BIG THINGS...and they often do, seemingly when it’s least convenient in our busy lives.  Focus on the big things but understand that little things are worthy of your attention too…get the big things right first, and the little things become fewer in number and more easily managed.  At some point we have to follow the suggestion of  Dr. Richard Carlson and choose not to “sweat the small stuff.”

8.             Share credit.   Teamwork is about WE doing something, not ME or I doing it.  Remember that nobody accomplishes anything alone. We all had teachers.  My surgery career is a direct (and I hope positive) reflection of the investments of Drs. Barrie Grant, Frank Nichols, Pam Wagner and a host of others including the subsequent 70 interns and residents I “trained” who taught me so much about surgery as an art, about horses, medicine and patient care.  When I am the surgeon, standing at the operative table, it’s a thought that crosses my mind frequently.  It’s also true that I am not standing there alone in any given moment….there are incredible technicians, students and colleagues present or nearby with me and working together we make great things happen.

9.             Remain Calm, be kind.  Always remain calm…losing control only exacerbates an already difficult situation.   Self management is such a key skill of the emotionally intelligent leader.  Yelling rarely, if ever, makes a tough situation any better.  Remaining calm shows respect to your teammates and coworkers and deepens your relationship with them.  It creates and enhances safety within the team.  The performances of everyone around you will improve and many times, disasters can be averted because panic and an emotional meltdown was avoided!

10.               Have a vision.  Know where you are going!  Covey tells us to “begin with the end in mind”…Twain warned us that “if we don’t know where we are going, any path will do.”  WONDERFUL ADVICE to be sure and General Powell agrees.  Knowing where you are going (AND WHY) gives you the energy, persistence, force and drive to accomplish anything you can envision.   Without a vision, you will find yourself less effective, dynamic and influential in creating positive change.

11.               Don’t take the counsel of your fears and naysayers.   Fear comes from within…it is normal, and because it’s normal, we should learn to  be ok with it when it comes to the forefront of our thoughts.   Fear serves the good purpose of keeping us safe.  Unfortunately, it can also be so effective as to hold us back from pursuing well conceived bold action for the collective, self or organizational good.   The military trains its personnel to acknowledge fear so they can work in spite of it.   We can do that as well.  Above all else recall that fear is simply focused energy that alters reality. 

12.               Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.   Again we are back to Henry Ford’s quote about mindset and whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are right.  When we look for the good, we will see it.  When we look for ability we can find it.  When we look for possibility, we can live into it.   If we believe in ourselves our carefully examined motives and personal values and we live those out with conviction, persistence, fidelity and passion, we become a nearly unstoppable force for progress.   Know it, believe it, live it!

You can find many other individuals who have rules for leadership.  The good Lord knows, there are so very many books, blogs, dissertations and treatises written on the subject.   What you will begin to notice is that over time, generations, cultures, genders and at many places in history, the basics of leadership remain the basics.   I guess that’s because as we have said many times: Personal leadership is simple (to understand), it’s just not easy (to do every day, day in and day out).   For that reason, fewer people do it than would be ideal for any society or culture. 

So … you recall the saying… “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”…and it is…to me, to you, and to those you influence through your positive examples of value centered servant leadership.

Enjoy your week, and give some thought to the leadership lessons above and the quotes that follow.   Above all else, make it, a great week!

******

“Example is leadership.” -- Albert Schweitzer

‘Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” --  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” --  Peter Drucker

“The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players.” --  Blaine Lee

“Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach.” --  Rosabeth Moss Kantor

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” --  Lao Tzu.

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.” --  General Colin Powell

“All leadership is influence.” --  John C. Maxwell

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” --  Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” --  Thomas J. Watson

“Leaders are designers, stewards, and teachers. They are responsible for building organizations where people continually expand their abilities to understanding complexity, clarify vision, and improve shared mental models - that is, they are responsible for learning.” --  Peter Senge

“The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.” --  John Buchan

“Ten soldiers wisely led will beat a hundred without a head.” --  Euripides.

“Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.” --  Colin Powell