What forgiveness isn't...

Interesting things I learn... Just thought I shall note it down somewhere to remind me later on, somewhere down the line I may need these wisdom.

What Forgiveness Isn't...

Forgiveness isn’t an instant cure.

While forgiveness will remove the barrier that hurt or betrayal has created, there are misconceptions about the feelings and results that come after the decision to forgive.

First, forgiveness does not destroy our memory. We’ve heard the phrase “forgive and forget,” but most of the time, that’s just not humanly possible. The human brain records every experience, good and bad. A memory of the event simply means that you are human and remembering a painful experience.

Second, forgiveness does not remove the consequences of the wrong behavior. All of our behavior has consequences, and forgiveness does not change that.

Third, forgiveness does not rebuild trust. When trust is destroyed in a relationship, it can only be rebuilt by a change in behavior over a period of time.

Fourth, forgiveness does not always result in reconciliation. While the possibility of reconciliation is fostered by forgiveness, reconciling a relationship requires time, conflict resolution, and teamwork.

Forgiveness may not be an easy fix for a relationship, but it is certainly the first step to healing.